Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The feeling are messing with the penis
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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