Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I can't turn off my feet"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
