There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
