A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
