God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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