No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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