i just made my gag reflex go away.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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