spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
