I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
