I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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