My hand turned me down
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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