All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
