when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
home. puking in laundry basket.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
