on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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