You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
