Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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