His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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