i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
