making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
