He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
