My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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