It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
