my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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