we have officially lost it.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
