so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
