Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
