Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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