I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
