yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She's the barista slut.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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