just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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