dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
