sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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