Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You've changed since you got that strap on
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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