No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
