Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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