Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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