i may or may not be watching the land before time
My cat gives me a boner
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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