Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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