I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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