Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
