Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
