Define "chronic" masturbator.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
