Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
