Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
