we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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