i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
