i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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