dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
