I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
