He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
