Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
