Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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