Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
